A young person recently asked our group “What advice would you give to someone who is thinking of “Coming out” to their family or friends” All of us having made that step a few years ago, I suppose puts us in a position to pass on our thoughts even though it will be a different experience for everyone.

My advice is not to put it off. As someone who literally took years and years to tell my family the ‘good news’ I really wouldn’t recommend anyone else putting themselves through that. The very years of your life in your teens and early 20’s when everything is new and nothing seems impossible is the period which you want to live YOUR life and not the life everyone else expects of you! I spent those years supposedly on the lookout for a girl and even going out with a few girls to throw all my friends and family off the scent, while my big secret literally kept eating away at me till my early 30’s, when I finally lost that massive weight of my shoulders.

In hindsight, I know I was doing myself and my family more harm by keeping my sexuality from them than if I had told them much earlier. All my great friends of that time, I still have and I certainly would feel much closer to my family now and all of that came with me being honest to myself and to them.

What I did learn was that, no one disowned me, telling lies to try and make it easier to hide the real you just eats away at you and that “coming out” makes life so much easier.

It does take some people longer than others to come to terms with the news. Some people will have known anyway while for some it never occurred to them. Don’t expect instant understanding.

I realise these are my experiences and that yours may be different, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Confide in a good friend/ close family member or call in to see us for advice and take it from there – Your life is there to be lived.

The NRC Centre at 82a Hill St is open Monday to Friday 7pm to 10pm and Saturday 2pm to 6pm. Telephone us on 028 3025 0528 or go to www.gaynewry.com